Gator Update (Limoges Edition)

Tantas Treasures - Limoges Alligator

Hat tip to Tina Karelson.

It's Still Hammer Time

Hammer swings into Melbourne | Herald Sun: "'My Hammer pants right now are being made by six or seven of the world's finest designers,' he said. 'In 2009 they were some of the best selling pants in high fashion. I got the new ones, I got the Versace, I got the Christian Dior Homme Hammer pants, they are really nice.'

Hammer said he was still amazed at the popularity of U Can't Touch This. 'To have something still be embraced after 20 years plus is very humbling.'"

They'd Do Anything for an "A"

Prosecutors seek Northwestern journalism students’ grades :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State: "A Northwestern University professor and journalism students who spent three years investigating the case of a man convicted in the 1978 killing of a security guard believe they have evidence that shows prosecutors put the wrong man behind bars. But in the quest to prove his innocence, they may have to defend themselves, too.

Cook County prosecutors have outraged the university and the journalism community by issuing subpoenas to professor David Protess seeking his students’ grades, his syllabus and their private e-mails. Prosecutors claim since the team was made up of students, they may have been under pressure to prove the case to get a good grade."

How I Became a Famous Novelist -- Steve Hely

I have Vince Keenan to thank for my reading of this book. It's as funny as he said it was in his review, maybe even funnier. For me, it was worth reading for Hely's parody of the NYT bestseller list alone. I laughed so much that Judy thought something was wrong with me. (There probably is.) You can read the list at the link, and if you don't think it's funny, then you probably won't like the book, either. Mad Magazine has nothing on Hely.

Pete Tarslaw, the book's narrator, decides that he can write a bestseller. It seems easy enough, once you figure out the formula. So he writes a book called The Tornado Ashes Club. It has everything. Trust me. Tarslaw admits from the beginning that he does some terrible things along the way to fame. He hopes the backstory he's including will make the reader think better of him at the end. It probably doesn't, though maybe Pete isn't quite a soulless as he appeared at the beginning. You can take the climactic showdown in Marfa, Texas, two ways, I think. I tend to be cynical about it, myself, but that's just me.

I'm recommending this book to every writer I know. If there's a publishing target that Hely misses, I can't think what it is. His eye for the telling detail is dead-on, and reading his description of the Oprah show is like watching it. Throughout the book he scatters excerpts from the bestsellers on that list I linked to above. If you didn't know better, you'd think you were reading real thing.

Bonus reason why I liked the book: Hely mentions in passing a mostly forgotten writer named Vance Bourjaily. In my youth when I read really long books, I read Bourjaily's The Violated and was pretty impressed. I have a paperback copy of it on my shelves even now. Not many people even know who Bourjaily is these days, and it was a pleasant surprise to run across his name.

Gator Update (Lost Dog Edition)

Man reaches for dog, gets bitten by alligator | abcactionnews.com: "A man searching for his dog got quite the nasty he reached underneath his car early Sunday morning, according to Florida Fish and Wildlife.

Spokesman Gary Morse said 38-year-old Joseph Cannistra was outside his Geddy Drive home about 12:30 am looking for his dog, when he thought he saw his pet lying underneath his car.

There was something underneath, but it wasn't his dog. Officials said an five foot alligator was waiting and when Cannistra reached underneath, it bit both of his hands."

Crocs on the 'Net

Indian crocodiles video blog for survival | Lifestyle | Reuters: "Call it video blogging for reptiles: conservationists are attaching cameras to the critically endangered Indian gharial, a crocodile-like creature, to understand more about its life in a bid to save it.
[. . . .]
In an attempt to better understand the reptiles' habitat and life cycle, scientists at the Gharial Conservation Park in Lucknow are using small video cameras for 'bio-logging.'

The lightweight cameras are attached to gharials that are released into the wild, where they record pictures every four seconds and monitor movement and behavior."

King Creole

Will the Persecution Never End?

Heiress upset at 'vacant' ad - National - NZ Herald News: "American heiress Paris Hilton is threatening legal action against a Wellington company which used her picture on a billboard with the word 'vacant' written across it.

Media5 used the photo, which showed Hilton partying, to advertise vacant billboard space.

Hilton's manager Jamie Freed said from Los Angeles Media5 had not gained permission to use the image and could expect to hear from her lawyers."

Robert Rines, R. I. P.

Robert Rines, Inventor and Monster Hunter, Dies at 87 - Obituary (Obit) - NYTimes.com: "Dollars to doughnuts, Robert H. Rines will be mainly remembered not for holding more than 800 patents, starting a law school or writing music for the stage, but for his dogged pursuit of the Loch Ness monster.

But Dr. Rines, who died on Nov. 1 at his home in Boston at 87, may have outlived the fabled Scottish creature he pursued for more than a quarter century. He had come to suspect that the beast died during his hunt, leaving him to search for a skeleton."

Hat tip to Jeff Meyerson.

New Reading and Writing Podcast Interview

016 Reading and Writing podcast interview – Meg Gardiner interview: "The sixteenth episode of the Reading and Writing podcast features an interview with Meg Gardiner, crime novelist, and author of The Memory Collector, available in bookstores now."

Tour the Victoria & Albert Museum

Victoria & Albert Museum Puts Details of One Million Objects on Website | Art Knowledge News: "The V&A announced that visitors to its website can now find online over one million records detailing objects in its collections ranging from well known treasures such as Tippoo’s 'Tiger' to less familiar paintings and ceramics. People using Search the Collections, at collections.vam.ac.uk, will find images of more than 100,000 objects with more images and details to follow as they become available. The online records vary from detailed studies written by curators to more basic inventory information which might include the maker, provenance, production technique and style. Visitors can also look up whether an object is on display and where in the Museum it can be found."

Link via Neatorama.

Wapner!

8500 minutes to Wapner! Judge Wapner Returns to The People’s Court on Friday the 13th - TV Ratings, Nielsen Ratings, Television Show Ratings | TVbytheNumbers.com: "On Friday, November 13, Judge Marilyn Milian welcomes Judge Joseph A. Wapner back to the bench of “The People’s Court” to litigate a special case in honor of his 90th birthday. Judge Wapner bangs the gavel on the Emmy-nominated court show that launched the entire court show genre and paved the way for a multitude of reality television shows. “The People’s Court was the original reality series featuring real litigants, real cases and real justice."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Polk County teacher suing state over fingerprinting - KTRE.com Lufkin and Nacogdoches |: "A Polk County teacher is suing the state for requiring her to be fingerprinted for a background check, saying it violates her religious freedom.

According to her attorney, Scott Skelton, of Lufkin, Pam McLaurin believes the book of Revelation literally and that getting a fingerprint would bear her the mark of the beast and she would be 'be tormented in burning sulfur.'"

Victor Gischler Take Note

Famous Paintings Reproduced In Coffee - Coffee art by karen eland - Gizmodo: "Sure this reproduction of Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam is a lil' bit perverted by the inclusion of a coffee cup, but look closer. The entire masterpiece was painted using only coffee."

Lots more coffee masterpieces at the link.

Florida Leads the Way

Gator Chomp Prompts Prose From Cop | NBC Miami: "Last week, a former Miami-Dade police officer was sentenced for his role in an ecstasy-smuggling ring. Yesterday, a Pembroke Pines officer alleged that he was fired because a supervisor was having an affair with his wife. Today brings news of a Fort Lauderdale cop dismissed for forging a signature on court notification."

But of course the important part of the article is the police report about the gator. You have to click the link and scroll down for that gem.

Just Because I Wanted To

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Lung disease didn't change course of Lake Dallas cross country runner | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Latest News: "The crazy stares and the questions usually come at the meets. They come from people who don't quite know Taylor Lively's story.

Last Friday, at the District 5-4A cross country meet, Lively won. He does that a lot. The kid in the Lake Dallas High School uniform with golden brown hair and a mask covering his mouth crosses the line before anyone else and then keels over. 'They tell you to walk,' Lively said, 'but usually I can't.'"

50 Biggest Flops Over the Past 50 Years

Power of 50: Biggest Flops Over the Past 50 Years – AARP Bulletin Today

G-Men

New Story at BEAT to a PULP

BEAT to a PULP :: Mortification :: Sophie Littlefield

As for Me, I Think Mediums Should Stick to Murder Investigations

'Michael Jackson furious he's not buried next to Marilyn Monroe', claims medium on live TV seance | Mail Online: "Michael Jackson is annoyed he was not buried alongside Marilyn Monroe, according to a medium.

Derek Acorah claims he was contacted by the star during a televised seance and reduced fans to tears with his account of the singer adapting to spiritual life."

Here's the Plot of Your Next Cold Case Files Novel

Police: Teen missing since 1954 was slain - Crime & courts- msnbc.com: "A young woman buried as Jane Doe in Colorado 55 years ago. An Arizona family puzzled and saddened as Dorothy Gay Howard's disappearance stretched into decades.

It took a historian, a detective and a determined family member to make the connection after more than a half century that these two people were one and the same."

There Will Always Be an England

Psychic 'leads' prompt murder inquiry | UK news | guardian.co.uk: "A police force has defended spending €20,000 investigating a man's death after his ghost was said to have told psychics that gangsters had forced him to drink petrol and bleach."

When Dolphins Go Bad

Monterey Bay researchers say dolphins are causing porpoise deaths - Santa Cruz Sentinel: "For the past five years, the growing number of dead harbor porpoises washing up on California shores has been a marine mystery -- until now.

In September, marine biologists with Okeanis, a nonprofit conservation group based in Moss Landing, captured the only video footage taken in Monterey Bay of bottlenose dolphins attacking and killing a porpoise."

I Thought the Percentage Would be Even Higher

Report: 237 millionaires in Congress - Erika Lovley - POLITICO.com: "As Washington reels from the news of 10.2 percent unemployment, the Center for Responsive Politics is out with a new report describing the wealth of members of Congress.

Among the highlights: Two-hundred-and-thirty-seven members of Congress are millionaires. That’s 44 percent of the body – compared to about 1 percent of Americans overall."

Each Dawn I Die