Saturday, May 05, 2007

From Bryon Quertermous

Like most of you, I've been missing Flashing in the Gutters. I miss
being able to whip off a quick flash on a lark to feed the creation
machine, or fiddling endlessly with a short but potent work. There
have been a few zines who came up to fill the void but I haven't seen
the no-frills, no bullshit, simple zine that Flashing was so I'm going
to try and do it. I've created Flash Pan Alley and I want your
stories. One of the coolest thing about Flashing in the Gutters early
success was the amount of people who contributed in the initial phase.
I'd like to get as many people involved early on.

Check out the site here.

Then consider sending me something. Thanks.

Viva la flash!

Bryon Quertermous

Star Rogue -- Lin Carter

I read about this one on Ed Gorman's blog, so I figured I'd read it. If you're familiar with Carter, you know that a lot of what he wrote was a pastiche of something or other. In Star Rogue he seems to be channeling Doc Smith, or some other author of slam-bang space opera.

Saul Everest is humanity's only immortal. He doesn't know how he became immortal, but it doesn't really matter. He also has a Star class mind, and of course his telepathic powers are developed to their highest point. Mostly he lives an idle life in retirement from Citadel, a cabal of superminds and telepaths that manipulates the flow of history while remaining in the shadows.

Saul is jolted out of his retirement by the report of a mysterious object, perhaps a rogue star, that's appeared out on the Rim. This object is merely an excuse for Saul to leave his comfortable retreat and have all kinds of adventures, which, when you think about them, aren't really all that unusual or extraordinary, at least compared to other space opera that you may have read. There's plenty of action, though, and things zip right along.

As always with Carter, there were various sequels and prequels planned. He tells about them in an "Author's Note" at the end. I have no idea if any of them were published, and I doubt I'll be reading them if they were.
Star Rogue was fun and a nice little diversion, but it didn't make me want to seek out anything further in the series.

From the Fine Folks at Mystery Scene Magazine

Hi everyone,

We are asking all of Mystery Scene's friends and readers to help us.

There's a HUGE postal hike in the works which unfairly targets small magazines to the considerable advantage of larger ones. It's going to put a number of magazines out of business and cause considerable hardships for many others.

There's a petition at this URL which explains the issue:

Please take a look. If you sign the petition, an email will automatically go to your representatives in Washington and the postal commission.

We would really appreciate the help!

Kate Stine & Brian Skupin

Baseball Card of the Day

"Let's play two!"

Friday, May 04, 2007

Janes in Jail [Not Starring Sybil Danning]

Thanks to John Duke for this update on the continuing persecution.

New Issue of Cozy Times Now On-Line

Reviews, links, articles, and other good stuff. Click here.

My Summer Story

Why doesn't this movie work? I'm not sure. Just like A Christmas Story, it has a script by Bob Clark Jean Shepherd, along with his narration and Clark's direction. It's based on Shepherd's fictionalized memoirs of his childhood. It has dandy period details. And yet . . . it just doesn't come up to the standards of the (much) earlier film.

Charles Grodin plays The Old Man, and he's fine, but the character's not quite the same one that Darren McGavin played in
A Christmas Story. Or maybe Grodin just doesn't get the nuances right. Mary Steenburgen is the mother, and she's fine, too. The original mom, Melinda Dillon looked a lot like her. A couple of Culkin kids play Ralphie and his little brother. They don't come up to the originals at all. Anyone who's read the stories, as I have, will recognize them immediately. The Bumpus family figures prominently, as do top spinning, movie giveaway nights, and crappie fishing. All well and good, but the end result is just an okay little movie without the special magic of A Christmas Story. Worth watching if you want to see more adventures of the Parker family, but don't expect too much.

Peru Update

Jeff Meyerson sent this link to Dave Barry, so I stole it from Dave.

Frog juice in high demand in Peru - Yahoo! News: "LIMA, Peru - Carmen Gonzalez plucks one of the 50 frogs from the aquarium at her bus stop restaurant, bangs it against tiles to kill it and then makes two incisions along its belly and peels off the skin as if husking corn.

She's preparing frog juice, a beverage revered by some Andean cultures for having the power to cure asthma, bronchitis, sluggishness and a low sex drive. A drink of so-called 'Peruvian Viagra' sells for about 90 cents.

Gonzalez adds three ladles of hot, white bean broth, two generous spoonfuls of honey, raw aloe vera plant and several tablespoons of maca — an Andean root also believed to boost stamina and sex drive — into a household blender.

Then she drops the frog in.

Once strained, the result is a starchy, milkshake-like liquid that stings the throat."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

AHN | New Condominium In Texas Features Country's First Ever Dog Toilet | May 4, 2007: "Austin, TX (AHN) - People who own a pet and plan to live in the upcoming luxurious 55-story condominium at Second Street and Congress Avenue in Austin, Texas, will have a complete floor dedicated to a dog park for walks and pet toilets.

According to Scott Ziegler, the architect from a firm involved in the construction of The Austonian - the condominium; this would be the first dog toilets ever in the country.

The Austin American-Statesman quotes Zeigler as saying, 'It's a stainless-steel plate, 18 inches square, and that's the surface that the dogs are attracted to when the dog does his business.'

'Then you hit the fob, an electronic key, and a little scraper scrapes the dog's residue into the sanitary system,' he added.

Prices for the condo units are being advertised as ranging from $550,000 to $3.8 million. So if you can afford to live in the Austonian, you'll no longer have to take your dog outside for a walk and clean his poop every time."

The Hoff!

Photos and video at the link!

The Sun Online - Bizarre online: Drunk Hoff has burger Hassel: "DAVID HASSELHOFF may have denied being too wasted to get on a plane last year, but this time there is VIDEO evidence of his drunkeness.

Rolling around the floor in just his jeans, the Hoff makes a clumsy attempt at eating a burger - which lasts six minutes.

All the time he is berated by his daughter TAYLOR, who tells him she will disown him if he carries on boozing.

She says: 'Dad, you've got to promise me you're not going to get any alcohol tonight, okay?'

The Hoff's only response is to mutter 'this is a mess' about the remains of his burger, some of which ends up dribbling from his mouth."

Get Your Bigfoot Statue Today!

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

See the catalog here.

Andy Rooney Moment of the Day

When did news broadcasts start spending more time telling you what was coming up than reporting the actual stories?

"Hi, we're your perky morning news team with this morning's top headlines. Two men arrested for mopery! That story and more coming up. Man loses goat on freeway! That story at nine thirty-four. Woman cuts hair with bread knife! That story coming up at nine thirty-five. Astros lose again. Jack Batboy has that story at nine forty. Sam Legalese is live at the county courthouse with a report on the on-going battery trial of business executive Bill Bigbucks at nine forty-six. And now our top story about the two men arrested for mopery, but first Stella Line with traffic and weather together!"

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Will the Persecution Never End?


Bigfoot Risks Extinction!

Bigfoot risks extinction, says Canadian MP - Yahoo! News: "Bigfoot, the legendary hairy man-like beast said to roam the wildernesses of North America, is not shy, merely so rare it risks extinction and should be protected as an endangered species.

So says Canadian MP Mike Lake who has called for Bigfoot to be protected under Canada's species at risk act, alongside Whooping Cranes, Blue Whales, and Red Mulberry trees.

'The debate over their (Bigfoot's) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing,' reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week.

'Therefore, the petitioners request the House of Commons to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to affect immediate protection of Bigfoot,' says the petition signed by almost 500 of Lake's constituents in Edmonton, Alberta.

A similar appeal has been made to the US Congress."

Sea Monster!

Video at link.

Sea serpent off our shore - WPTV NewsChannel 5: "You've heard of the Loch Ness Monster, the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

The sea serpents of legend, right?

A local diver says he's found something not even the Smithsonian can identify and it's right off the shores of Juno Beach.

Beneath the surface of our crystal blue waters live a myriad of marine life.

Sometimes we can see them from the air -- steely eyed shark congregating by the thousands, graceful stingray, gliding along the shallows.

But go deeper

You never know what you'll find. Just ask Jay Garbose.

'This is a first and I've traveled and video'ed all over the world.'

Take a look at what he found and listen to the story -- it's no fish tale.

'I was diving on Juno Ledge. That's about a mile off shore of Juno Beach. At first I thought it was a sea cucumber although no one's every seen one stretched 7 to 10 feet the way this one was. It's sort of grey and putty like and very smooth and taffy like in the way it stretches. Some of my friends and I have sort of dubbed it the living intestine.'

As an underwater videographer, Jay has captured images for National Geographic and the Discovery Channel."

While I Disappear -- Edward Wright

This is the novel I read on the return trip from New York. It's a lot darker than Solomon vs. Lord, as you'd expect if you'd read Clea's Moon, the first novel in the John Ray Horn series.

Horn, as you may recall, is the former cowboy star, down on his luck after serving a prison sentence for assault, who's eking out a living as a bill collector for his old movie sidekick, Mad Crow. As in the previous book, the past comes calling, and once again a murder in the present is tied to what happened years ago. (I guess you could say that the series is taking on something of a Ross Mcdonald aspect.) This time the old crime is a murder that has a strong resemblance to the notorious Fatty Arbuckle case. Horn is drawn into things when he meets one of his former co-stars. She's murdered, and Horn is driven to find out why. And to find the killer.

As was the case in Clea's Moon, the book is filled with great local color from the L. A. of the late '40s. Horn and Mad Crow are complex and compelling characters, and I'm going to have to find the third book in the series now to see what they're up to in that one.

Elaine Viets Update

For those of you in the Houston area, Leann Sweeny and I will be filling in for Elaine at Murder by the Book on May 11 at 6:00 p. m. Elaine Viets is about to get an unexpected get-well present. The South Florida novelist had a stroke April 10, three weeks before she was to set out on a national tour to promote her new novel, Murder with Reservations. Tonight would have found her surrounded by friends and fans at the official kickoff of the tour; instead she will be in a hospital bed.

Viets' stroke signaled the start of a new chapter in her life, one that was looking rather bleak until (as should only be expected in the world of award-winning mystery authors) the story took a sudden twist.

"Barbara Parker, Kristy Montee [P.J. Parrish] and Rhonda Pollero [Kelsey Roberts] graciously offered to stand in for Elaine at the book launch party," says Joanne Sinchuk, owner of Murder on the Beach, the book store in Delray Beach where the event is scheduled. The itinerary now calls for a panel discussion and readings from the 57-year-old author's book, followed by refreshments."

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Gordon Scott, R. I. P.

Gordon Scott was the guy who did Tarzan in color, or that's how I remember him. The movies, as I recall, were pretty good. I even have a Viewmaster reel of him and Cheetah related to some movie or other. I haven't looked at it in many years, but the images remain vivid. He was also in a couple of Hercules movies, as were many other muscle men. When Judy and I were living in Denton, Texas, during the first year of our marriage, Channel 11 ran a Hercules movie every Sunday afternoon, so I saw far too many of them. (Thanks to Richard Heft for passing along the news.) Gordon Scott, who played Tarzan in five films during the 1950s, died Monday from complications of surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. He was 79.

Scott, who was befriended by a Brooklyn couple, was taken into the couple's home where he has lived since 2002.

"My husband has been a fan of his since he was child. When we were in Hollywood about eight years ago, we looked him up. They called each other several times, and then we invited him for a visit," said Betty Thomas, a local actress whose stage name is Betty Willey.

"He came and never left," she said.

Zola Taylor, R. I. P.

Thanks to Cap'n Bob for the tip. I love Taylor's lead vocal on The Platters' version of "My Old Flame."

Platters Singer Zola Taylor Dies At 69, Singer Zola Taylor Of The Platters Dies At 69; Harmonized On Hits Like `The Great Pretender' - The ShowBuzz: "Zola Taylor, who broke gender barriers in the 1950s as a member of The Platters, harmonizing with her male colleagues on hits like 'The Great Pretender,' has died, her nephew said Tuesday. She was 69.

Taylor, who later gained attention of a different sort as one of three women who claimed to be pop idol Frankie Lymon's widow, died Monday, said her nephew Alfie Robinson. She had been bedridden following several strokes and died at Parkview Community Hospital in Riverside County from complications of pneumonia, he said.

Founding Platters member Herb Reed said he spotted Taylor, the sister of Cornell Gunter of the Coasters, rehearsing with a girl group in 1955 and knew immediately she had the charisma and vocal chops the R&B group needed."

John Wayne at 100

The 100th anniversary of John Wayne's birth is coming up this month, and The Shamus has kicked off his celebration with the first in a series of posts that I'll definitely be reading.

Pssssst! Wanna See Some Great PB Covers?

If you do, check this out. Then go read a review of one of the books here.

New Issue of Thug Lit is On-line

Here's the line-up. Check it out.

All The Ingredients - By Barry Baldwin
Alter Road - By Bryon Quertermous
Landscape of Zeros - By David Rosenstock
Private Craps Shooter at Dawn - By Steven M. Messner
The Trouble with Trolls - By Patricia Abbott
Work to Live - By Kevin McCarthy

From Rob Kantner

"Clean Slate," the suspense novel we're serializing, is up to eight chapters now. New one is posted every Monday.

Check it out. Also check out "The Long Way Home," another unpublished suspense novel. The whole thing is on the site now, all eighty chapters.

Rob Kantner

This is all good stuff. Check it out.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Tom Poston, R. I. P.

'Newhart' sidekick Tom Poston dies at 85 - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES -Tom Poston, the tall, pasty-faced comic who found fame and fortune playing a clueless everyman on such hit television shows as 'Newhart' and 'Mork and Mindy,' has died. He was 85.

Poston, who was married to Suzanne Pleshette of 'The Bob Newhart Show,' died Monday night at home after a brief illness, a family representative, Tanner Gibson, said Tuesday. The nature of his illness was not disclosed.

Bob Newhart remembered Poston as a 'versatile and veteran performer and a kindhearted individual.'

'Tom was always the `go-to guy' on `Newhart' in addition to being a good and longtime friend,' Newhart said in a statement Tuesday.

Billy Crystal, who starred in the 1978 film 'Rabbit Test' in which Poston also appeared, was another admirer.

'How rare that a gentle, sweet person could be so incredibly funny,' Crystal said in a statement. 'I grew up watching Tom on 'The Steve Allen Show' as a kid. What an incredible gift to become friends with him and to learn about comedy from a true professional. He was a combination of Stan Laurel and Jack Benny. We will all miss him.'"

Solomon Vs. Lord -- Paul Levine

This is the book I read on the plane to New York. It was a perfect airplane book for me: well-written funny, not too dark. Levine was at the Edgar reception for nominees because the second Solomon vs. Lord book was nominated for best paperback, so I was able to meet him and tell him how much I enjoyed this one.

It's a typical "opposites attract" story with a couple of lawyers who are obviously meant for each other, though you're supposed to wonder if they'll ever get together. Not that you ever doubt it. Solomon is a prickly guy who has issues with his father. He's caring for his autistic nephew, and he lawyers pretty much by the seat of his pants. Lord is a by-the-book prosecutor who tangles with him from their first meeting.

Before long, thanks to some adroit contrivances, they're law partners taking on one of the biggest homicide cases in Miami history. Solomon also finds himself in court as a defendant when the social services folks try to take Bobby away from him. He's defended by Lord. As you can tell, there are quite a few contrivances in the book, including the fact that judges in both cases couldn't be more suited to the situation.

But who cares? It's all in good fun, and there's plenty of snappy patter, some action, fine local color, and a fast-moving storyline to keep you happy. I'll definitely read the second in the series, so check it out.

Complete List of Old West Gunfights

I can't swear that it's complete, but it seems pretty comprehensive. It's here.

Link via Neatorama.

But Soft! What Light from Younder HDTV Breaks?

Video game aims to hook children on Shakespeare - Yahoo! News: "TORONTO (Reuters Life!) - Children typically spend hours in front of a computer so a Canadian university has decided to introduce them to Shakespeare with a video game.

While zapping enemy spaceships players have to help recover the stolen text of Romeo and Juliet by memorizing lines from the famous play, learning facts about Shakespeare's life and devising synonyms and homonyms for parts of the text.

'The game is a way to capitalize on the time that kids spend on computers,' said Professor Daniel Fischlin who headed the team at the University of Guelph in Ontario that developed the game called 'Speare.'

'I don't know of another medium that has seven-year-olds spouting Shakespeare,' Fischlin added in response to charges the game might trivialize learning.

The game was launched earlier this week to coincide with the anniversary of Shakespeare's death after two years and C$50,000 ($44,800) spent developing it."

Gator Update: San Antonio Edition

Video at link.

Gator wanders onto San Antonio freeway, blocks traffic | News for Austin, Texas | | Top Stories: "SAN ANTONIO -- San Antonio police first turned on their sirens, then they tried to soothe the troublemaker into compliance with a lullaby.

But the eight-foot alligator proved to be one stubborn traffic problem on busy Interstate 410 in southern San Antonio early Sunday.

Officer Albert Silva was the first to arrive at the scene of the traffic backup.

'I don't remember any of this in the academy,' Silva said."

Gator Update: The Return of Reggie!

'Reggie' the alligator reappears in L.A. - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES - Reggie the alligator reappeared Monday after vanishing for 1 1/2 years in an urban lake where the reptile turned up in 2005 and repeatedly skunked would-be 'gator wranglers.

'After 18 months of hibernation or just eluding us, Reggie has decided to show himself,' City Councilwoman Janice Hahn told a press conference next to Harbor Regional Park's Lake Machado.

Hahn said she had asked the Parks and Recreation Department to put a fence back up around the lake.

'Reggie is older, Reggie is bigger, and he's probably hungry, so I want to make sure that we keep the public safe,' she said. 'He's a wild alligator and he's unpredictable and we're not really sure what his behavior will be.'"

25 Reasons the Internet Conquered the World

How the Internet took over - "Twenty-five years ago the Internet as we now know it was in the process of being birthed by the National Science Foundation. Since then it's been an information explosion. From e-mail to eBay, communication and shopping have forever changed."

Happy Birthday, Joseph Heller!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "It's the birthday of Joseph Heller, (books by this author) born in Brooklyn, New York (1923). He's best known for his novel Catch-22 (1961), about a World War II bomber pilot, Yossarian, who believes that the world is out to get him killed. The entire German army wants to shoot him down, and the men that are supposedly his countrymen keep sending him out on bombing missions, where he is likely to get shot down by those Germans. He spends all his time trying to get himself declared insane so he can stop flying bombing missions, but there is a regulation called Catch-22, which says that if you want out of combat duty you can't be crazy.

Heller wrote, '[A pilot] would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.'"

The longer I live, the more convinced I am that Catch-22 is a great novel.

Happy Anniversary, Empire State Building!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "Today is the anniversary of the day in 1931 when the Empire State Building opened to the public on the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street in New York City. It was built remarkably quickly, in just over a year. At 102 stories, it was the tallest building in the world until 1974."

Monday, April 30, 2007


Coming Online Soon: The Five-Minute ‘Charlie’s Angels’ - New York Times: "The question probably never occurred to viewers in the 1970s and 1980s, but suddenly it is highly relevant: exactly how much worthwhile entertainment content was there in shows like “Charlie’s Angels,” “T. J. Hooker,” and “Starsky and Hutch”?

The Sony Corporation and its production studio, Sony Pictures Television, which controls the rights to those and many other relics of a distant era of television, have come up with an answer to that question: three and a half to five minutes.

That’s the length Sony has shrunk episodes down to in order to create what the company hopes is an appealing new business in retooling old shows for a new era of entertainment. Sony even has a name for these shrunken slices of television nostalgia: minisodes."

Hit Parade Hall of Fame

Hit Parade Hall of Fame: "Welcome to the Hit Parade Hall of Fame where all Pop, Country and R&B recording artists are honored.

In the last half century recorded music
has become the language of the universe with artists from all over the world receiving acclaim.
Changes in lifestyle, erasing prejudices and inviting
new thought, recorded music has both excited, yet calmed and brought entertainment into our lives.

We encourage you to invite your friends to join in
casting a vote for your favorites and in suggesting recording stars who might be honored in the future by the nominating committee.

The first nominees for the Hit Parade Hall of Fame
is from the era starting with 1950 and continuing
to the year 1975. Each are required to have at least
two top ten hits, singles and/or album of any genre.

In the future we will announce the date and location
of the induction ceremony and museum dedicated to those who deserve being inducted into the Hit Parade Hall of Fame."

America's Favorite Architecture

See the structures and vote for your favorites. As it happens I've seen a heck of a lot of these within the last week.

The Best SF TV Series You'll Never See - Superb sci-fi anthology series gathers dust on shelf: "I have seen the future. Well, at least I've seen what may be the best futuristic anthology series since the glory days of 'The Twilight Zone' and 'The Outer Limits.'

It's called 'Masters of Science Fiction,' and it's a stunning collection of grand stories, relevant themes, mesmerizing performances and riveting dialogue. Intrigued? You should be. This is the kind of series that could have been submitted for Rod Serling's approval - and would have won it.

I've seen all six of the completed episodes, but it's possible you won't get that chance. 'Masters of Science Fiction' appears to be stuck in a time warp that's keeping it out of the prime-time universe.

The series was announced last August as a midseason replacement for ABC, but it has yet to be scheduled by the network of 'Dancing With the Stars' and 'Desperate Housewives.' And we're fast running out of weeks for the 2006-07 television season, which comes to a close in late May.

Will we see this brilliant series before the calendar says June? It's unlikely. We're heading into the all-important May sweeps period, when ratings determine what local stations can charge for advertising."

Your Mom Threw Yours Away

590 KLBJ NEWS RADIO - Breaking News Headlines and Video from 590 KLBJ: "An octogenarian's collection of rare baseball cards fetched $1.6 million in an auction, officials said.

Lionel Carter, 89, of Evanston, began his collection as a 15-year-old when he eschewed a nickel candy bar for a pack of 1932 Delong cards. His stash of pristine cards ballooned to 50,000 strong with an estimated value of $3 million and became one of the nation's most renowned collections.

'We don't say this lightly _ he's considered one of the pioneers of the hobby,' said Doug Allen, president of suburban Chicago's Mastro Auctions, which sold the collection in a three-week auction that ended Saturday.

Carter's mint condition Mickey Mantle rookie card sold for $165,000, three times more than similar cards have commanded. A set of 1938 Goudy Gum cards sold for $280,000, five times more than similar sets.

'I think people are paying more because it was owned by Lionel Carter,' Allen said.

At least 5,500 cards were sold in this auction, and the rest will be sold at other auctions during the year, officials said."

Brazil Invades Texas! Or, You Damn Ants Get off My Lawn! Metro | State: "They are annoying -- the state's unwelcome guest whose bite can sting so bad.

They are fire ants, but not just any kind of fire ant. These creepy crawlers came all the way from Brazil.

'The red imported fire ant, which is the one that we have here that’s not native, are much more dangerous than our native fire ants,' said Molly Keck, Bexar County Entomologist.

And expensive.

A 2001 study shows the state of Texas spent nearly $2 billion trying to fend off these ants. The foreign pests are blamed for attacking farm animals, destroying utility boxes and land.

'They really messed things up when they first came here,' Keck said. 'And they are still messing things up.'"

PointBlank Update

I've just received my copy of the PointBlank Press edition of Frank McAuliffe's Of all the Bloody Cheek, originally published by Ballantine many years ago. As I understand it, PointBlank will also reprint the two sequels, as well as a fourth novel in the series that's never seen print before. These books are a marvel of intricate plotting, they're funny, and they're well written. I've never read anything else like them. Highly recommended.

A Scene from The Big Sleep

Check out Jaime Weinman's post on one scene from the book as it was done in the movie.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

For Those With a Lot of Spare Time . . .

. . . a slideshow of Bill & Judy's New York Adventure.

Croc Update

BCNG Portals Page: "A crocodile is loose at Trinity Western University and already it’s getting an education on how to elude capture.

Rainforest Reptile Refuge’s curator Paul Springate was called in to rescue the two- foot long caiman which had been spotted by a security guard around 11 p.m. on Tuesday.

“He’s a smart little croc, he’s staying out of the way,” Springate said on Thursday.

On Wednesday afternoon Springate was up to his knees in cold, muddy water, trudging through stinging nettles in the ravine in the northwest corner of the university’s property."

Judy at the Museum of Sex

Let's just not mention to Judy that I published this one, okay?

I'm Sure They'll Want a Clip at the Museum of Sex

Bart bares all in film: "In the unlikeliest nude scene since Kathy Bates' hot-tub hijinks in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson will reportedly go full frontal in his upcoming feature film.

According to Newsweek, which got a sneak peek at The Simpsons Movie, 'little Bart flashes his little part to the entire world' while skateboarding sans clothing on a dare from dad Homer.

If his full Monty makes it to the big screen in July, the magazine notes, it may be the first time a Hollywood movie has exposed this sort of skin -- albeit in cartoon form -- without being slapped with an R-rating."