The Daily Mash - GOVERNMENT BACKS CROCODILE INSURANCE: "EVERY crocodile owner in the UK will have to take out insurance under government plans to tackle 12 foot long killing machines with jaws of steel.
Home secretary Alan Johnson said that while Britain was a nation of animal lovers, it was probably time to do something about the thousands of massive crocodiles currently sitting in the middle of people's living rooms.
He added: 'While we do not want to stop people from buying and owning crocodiles, I suppose we do all have a right not to be chased down the street by what is essentially a dinosaur and devoured in front of our local community.'"
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